The two of you are amazing; we’ve been in our place for over a year and a half, and we still haven’t unpacked all our boxes…  That, more or less, is the kind of praise we’ve received from a number of visitors, upon seeing the progress we had made in eliminating the stack of cartons that had overwhelmed our new apartment, as if we had done something stupendous, like invent a new kind of wheel. As far as we were concerned, we were just doing what comes naturally. That is, if one partner is A.D.D. and the other is on the O.C.D. spectrum (which makes us O.D.D.).

There was one thing that both of us agreed on; we couldn’t keep looking for things we needed. Do you remember where we put the scotch tape?

 It’s in one of the boxes in the hallway marked ‘office.’

You don’t remember which one, do you?

I think it’s in the same one as the stamps.

That doesn’t help!

I remember seeing the tape a few days ago..

That still doesn’t help!

Besides the obvious benefit of ‘everything having a place and everything in its place,’ so you can find what you need without taking part in a scavenger hunt, neither of us does well with clutter – although we have different definitions of what should be included in that category. For me, clutterphobia is about being in control of my living space, that things are where they are because I want them to be there, or at least where they fit best. And the fewer things there are for me to look at or search through, the more likely I’ll focus on what I’m trying to find.

And so, the two of us were champing at the bit to find a place for everything we had seen fit to bring with us. We had taken one aron – where we kept our linens – from our old place, so that was easy. The closet for our bedroom arrived on schedule a few weeks after we moved in, so we had a place for our clothing. But everything else? We would have to roll up our proverbial sleeves and get to work. Otherwise, we would be in the same boat as our friends with a permanent collection of belongings stubbornly in the way.

The obvious place to begin Operation Move-In was with my books, boxes and boxes of them, all of which I had packed myself and carefully labeled, ‘books,’ so I would know what to look for. The bookcases were in place; all I had to do was find the shelves, which the movers had deposited in random places. Maybe it’s the wannabe librarian in me, but I’ve always arranged my books in some identifiable order (how about ‘alphabetical?’). And then there was my collection of LPs, three shelves worth. With a few days of toil and trouble, all of these things were restored to a place of glory on an appropriate shelf. So far, so good.

All the while, Barbara was trying to deal with our dishes and pots and pans – the dairy set, the meat set, all our assorted stuff for Pesach – and all our packages of food. However, her task was not as simple. The carpenter who was constructing our kitchen cabinets was moonlighting; he would get to us when he could in his spare time – usually on a Friday morning. (not the best time!) And if he forgot to attach a hinge to a door, or cover a junction box that wouldn’t be used, or neglect any other small detail that he had been asked to take care of, there would always be a next time. Should Barbara fill that incomplete cabinet, knowing it would have to be emptied when the carpenter returned – who knows when – or leave it empty? (One more box we can’t unpack just yet.)

I can’t live like this!

At some point, you get tired of waiting for workmen to show up when they say they’re going to and finish what they’ve started. You feel like you’re planning your life around other people’s schedules. You’ve paid all this money for an apartment and you’re not enjoying it; you can’t even make yourself a cup of coffee. Time to take the bull by the horns. Let’s inconvenience the workmen, not the other way around. Let’s put the furniture where it’s supposed to be.

How do you untangle a traffic jam in your living room, where everything is in the way of everything else? Answer: get a traffic cop. Call Brian (our trusty handyman), and let’s make a plan. First: have him take all the boxes remaining against the wall in the living room and stack them in our hallway.  That will make a space for the sofa (the one standing on end in one corner). Then we can move over the chairs, the recliner, and the coffee table. No, first take the credenza (on its end in another corner) and move it in front of the window. Then and only then move the chairs.

With a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, all of our furniture, scrunched together and unusable for several months, got moved into a proper position: our dining room table and chairs, our kitchen bar table, our stereo unit, and (yes!!) my new Vinopo wine fridge. We could begin preparing and eating our meals like normal people.

It would take weeks for us to unpack the remaining boxes we had piled in our hallway, one by one, and find a home for their contents. One more out of the way! We could recycle some of the cartons we no longer needed, giving them to other families who would soon be having the distinct pleasure of packing and moving. It’s called ‘misery loves company,’ or ‘welcome to the club.’ You might consider joining our merry band of vagabonds, although I don’t advise it.