Egypt — the First and Maybe the Last Post

Readers of my articles should be familiar by now with my General Theory of Caloric Dispersion (G.T.C.D.), the best-known example of which involves breaking a cookie in half and eating each part separately. It has been proven to the satisfaction of some of us that this method of consumption reduces the total number of calories involved by a significant amount. The question remains: does this process apply to other foods, say a roast chicken or artichoke hearts? I will be the first to admit that more research needs to be done on this topic.

What I have been working on most recently is a theory that is somewhat similar, which I call the General Theory of Ardor Dissipation (G.T.A.D.). What is this speculative proposal about? Let’s say you planned some activity six months in advance, but when it’s time for the event to happen, your enthusiasm level is gone the way of all calories. And this could happen.

Continue reading

I Didn’t Ask You

Sitting, as is my custom, on a stool at the counter of Power Coffeeworks, watching the caffeinophiles of the area come in and out, I have developed a sense of admiration and empathy for the young men and women who work part time as baristas. I have been A.D.D. before anyone thought to so classify some of us. (Not A.D.H.D. I never hung by my ankles off a Lower East Side fire escape the way my uncle Dan did over a century ago, taking a decade or more off the life of his mother – before he went out west to become a Jewish cowboy.) I simply have difficulty keeping track of more than one thing at a time.

Continue reading

Sale On

A Tale of Two Blue Bags

Black Friday. Every self-respecting American anywhere on the planet knows what that is about: the day after Thanksgiving, the start of the ‘holiday season,’ when major retailers in the U.S. start turning a profit for the calendar year. I am required to report that ‘Black Friday’ has taken hold here in The Land, even though your average Israeli is as clueless as to what it’s about as s/he is about the English language words strung together on ladies’ and children’s shirts. (Imagine trying to explain to a bunch of grizzled old-timers, sitting around sipping their cups of ‘nes,’ smoking their lungs out, what the slogan ‘Abnormal is fine, Stupid is not’ is about. BTW, you can obtain a shirt with those pithy words of advice from the store at What Israelis do know is that Black Friday has something to do with saving money, which no self-respecting Israeli could ignore. It could be ‘Black Friday,’ ‘Black November,’ or ‘Black Friday’ in July – all of which occur in The Land.

Continue reading